Alex Anderson - Santa Cruz, California

"Hi Joe, Wonder if you can advise on training for SSWC?  As a little background, I'm what industry folks call an enthusiast. That basically means I buy new parts in the vain hope that they will make me faster.  The industry loves me for that I'm sure, but my results haven't shown the benefit of these high zoot parts. I've raced mountain bikes and cyclocross a bit and trained some for it but I mostly just ride for fun.

I'm signed up for SSWC in Durango and want to be prepared for it. I'm really stoked to know that I'll finish on the same lap as the winners for the first time ever since I'm told there is only 1 big lap this year. I'm riding my Single Speed a lot and feel pretty fit but I know from past SSWC's that I won't be prepared for the beer drinking.  This is a big part of the extended weekend and it has me worried.  I've always been a lightweight, even in College, and when I combine riding and drinking all bets are off.  I'll take the occasional beer or shot handoff in a race but there is no way I can keep up with the dedicated athletes at SSWC.  I trained for 2 years in the UK riding and drinking and developed a little more tolerance but the high-aptitude training over there has worn off in the year I've been back in California. Can you tell me how to develop more beer drinking staying power?

Just so you know I really like beer.  I guess the people in the beer industry would call me an enthusiast, too. That means I know the British, Belgian and German beers pretty well and the usual assortment of California microbrews. Back in the day my friends would call me a 'green bottle boy' meaning I would buy the real Euro beers back when my buddies were paying $1.50 for a six of Meister Brau (I think that translates to Mr. Brew).  Do I need to work on quantity over quality?  Are 2 cans of PBR better training than 1 Dubbel from Belgium?  What about my base?  3 beers a night? 6? I'm only a month away from SSWC so should I be working on my beer intervals? Chug a beer/hill repeat/chug?  Should I mix in shots?  Help!"

Normally I think this would warrant awarding you with a prize for the most amazing question of the week, but since you live in Santa Cruz I have to rule you ineligible to win prizes. Besides, as an enthusiast you’re gonna buy the stuff anyway, so why would I give it to you for free?

As to your question ... you have a much larger problem than just owning a rejuvenated liver. You, my friend, have a problem with history. Back in 1905, when Al Gore invented the derailleur, people adopted it, improved upon it and kept increasing its gear-range capacity. By the ’70’s the stuff that Campagnolo was producing was so beautiful that people started buying it just to display, touch and talk about. Today, even the boxes in which the stuff used to be packaged are valuable. But I digress ...

Al Gore invented the derailleur so that people could have gear selections available for each type of terrain, incline, decline, or when they bonk and cannot remember where they are. To take this technology for granted and toss it aside for the chance to get a free tattoo signifying your place as world champion technology-eschewer is quite a bit beyond my grasp, but I will continue to attempt to help you in your quest for curmudgeon glory.

As far as beer selection goes, I think it is important to understand the thinking of the average “single-speeder.” Since single speeders are partial to contrived pain-and-suffering, they gravitate to Pabst Blue Ribbon. I mean no disrespect to the hard work of the Pabst family, especially because Augie Pabst is into racecars, but the thought of a can of Blue Ribbon Beer reminds me of copious amounts of cigarette smoke and even greater amounts of boredom, so I have officially boycotted this product since sometime in the ’70’s - well before I could legally drink the stuff.

That said, bringing any kind of fancy beer to a single-speed event will be about as accepted as Jane Fonda at a rifle match, so you’re either going to need to get used to “sportsman beer” or forfeit all chances of glory right here and now. If you’re like me and are terrified of the Blue Ribbon, I would suggest the following beer products: Budweiser -- this is the closest thing you’re going to find to a fine Belgian beer since it is Belgian owned now, Coors -- you’ll be racing in its home state and they used to pay my salary, and Hamm’s -- the beer refreshing is my own personal favorite sportsman beer. Whatever you do, no bottles and no light beer. While light beer is acceptable in auto racing, ice fishing, rifle competition, and hunting circles, the single-speeders are going to heckle you incessantly and may even start throwing stolen derailleurs at you if you are seen with one in your hands.



Since this is a race we are talking about, your training should be focused but varied. Some weeks, you should work on speed and some weeks you should work on quantity ... never the same thing at the same time. I would also encourage getting used to the warm beer gut-bomb as you are climbing very steep things. Concentrate on your can-crushing skills too, as this is part of the style competition at SSWC. Focusing your training in this manner will yield the greatest results when you are combining these in the race itself.

I would advise cautious training with the flask. While it might be appropriate to familiarize yourself with the proper use of the flask, you may find that you enjoy the contents of the flask more than sportman beer. Seriously, I know people to whom this has happened and they are treated with a fair amount of suspicion when they say “no” when offered a lukewarm, and somewhat agitated can of beer.

You should still plan on bringing a flask to Durango, but you need to know the very strict rules regarding flask contents. Most importantly, as an American, you may fill the flask with Kentucky Bourbon, Tennessee Whiskey, or Tequila ... that is all. People from the UK and continental Europe are afforded some amount of leniency when it comes to flask contents. They may fill theirs with Scotch, Irish Whiskey, or Gin, in addition to the three mentioned previously. If you should happen to see anyone breaking this rule, you need to call them out immediately, as if they were an Italian saying bad things about the pope. It also might be advisable to report them to race officials so that they might be disqualified.

Single-speeders, like hipsters, have a very high regard for fashion too, so make sure you choose your flask carefully. Older is preferred and the weirder the inscription the better. If you start with a new one today, you still have time to wear it in. If you are prone to procrastination and wait until just a few days before the event to break it in, I would suggest you put a big dent in it. This will serve to show that you are a flask carrying pro that has crashed while having it in your possession and also may actually break the weld at its bottom. With a broken weld, the contents of your flask will slowly leak out and you will be able to mooch off of others, guilt free.

Whatever you do, be careful out there. I have personally ridden mountain bikes in Durango - of course I was riding on post 1905 technology - and know the terrain there to have some technical parts to it. Durango is way high up in the air too, so your red blood cells are going to be working overtime. I would also hope that the only twelve steps you have to take would be to the refrigerator or the bathroom.

On a final note, a little story:

My best Belgian friend and former teammate Patrick Cocquyt is still racing bicycles at the tender age of 49. The dude is still winning them as well -- in the elite without contract category. His win count, career-to-date is roughly 320. That is more wins than most people actually race

Anyway, back when Patrick was a pro, he used to like a combination of beer and Coca-Cola in his water bottles. I remember one particular kermis race in which Patrick consumed two bottles of “mazout” or diesel per lap for 16 laps. We were both in the winning breakaway too. I’ll go ahead and let you do the math on that.

Good luck at SSWC. I will be absolutely nowhere near Durango then.