Anytime now, I am waiting for the International Brussels Sprouts Growers Association to send me a check. Seriously, I bet I have converted more people to Brussels Sproutsism than just about anyone. I simply love the things and think you should try my little recipe here – maybe even for that oh so opulent holiday of Thanksgiving – so that you too might become one of the followers.

The funny thing about Brussels sprouts is that I never even had a chance to eat the things when I lived in Belgium, because they were supposed to be bad for bike racers, but that hasn’t stopped me from taking a cue from country-style Belgian cooking and coming up with my own recipe for these tiny little cabbage-type things. In all reality, I reckon that some great pro just didn’t like them, and complained that they made him slow, so they instantly became “bad.”

First off, for those of you who don’t like measuring, you’re in luck, because neither do I. This is going to be a fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants procedure here, so relax and prepare to create some green-(ish) art. 

Here’s what you need:

Brussels sprouts – get the live, fresh ones if possible as opposed to the frozen kind.

Butter – have at least a stick on hand. Don’t use margarine. The stuff is not good for you.

Salt and Pepper

Brown sugar – just a little bit. If you don’t have it handy, go steal some packages (2-4) of the hippy sugar (in the brown packages) from a coffee shop. I think they call it Sugar in the Raw. Folks, brown sugar has absolutely no place in coffee – that’s what they invented white sugar for.

Beer – might as well get a six-pack. Any beer will do, and I typically just use the cheapest stuff I can find, but if you’re in a particularly gourmand mood, go ahead and spring for some of the Belgian stuff. If you are spending the money though, buy dark beer.

Pancetta or bacon – this part is purely optional but may help motivate you. I mean seriously, you’ve got beer, sugar, butter and bacon … your shoe might even taste good when cooked with this stuff.

Rinse the heck out of the sprouts and let them drain a bit. I like to soak them for a while in the pot I’m going to cook them in and then dump them into a colander. From there, cut off the little stalk nubbins and slice them in half – through the part that used to be the stem/stalk/nubbin or whatever you want to call it. If the sprouts are particularly small – like the size of a marble or small super ball, you don’t really have to cut them in two.

If you’re going to add the pancetta or bacon, this is the time to go ahead and fry this up and set aside for a bit to cool. Once it is cool, cut the whole mess up into small bits.

Toss all of the prepped sprouts into some sort of soup pot or saucepan, depending upon the amount, and start pouring in some beer. This is one time when more beer is not necessarily better, so you’ll also need some water. I use a fifty-fifty mix of beer and water in an amount that would ordinarily fill the pot you are using to the same level as the sprouts. Sprouts float though, so this is just a guesstimate. Just don’t fill too much, so that you don’t boil over.

Next, toss in a couple chunks of butter – not too much right yet – and salt and pepper.

Boil. Once the whole concoction is boiling, it should only take 15-20 minutes or so, but do check with a fork to see if they are tender. You’re going to cook them some more afterward, so don’t turn them into mush.

When they are tender, drain them again in a colander, as you would do pasta.

Depending upon the size of your batch, you can either use the same pot that you did for boiling, or switch to a large frying pan for the rest of the process.

Add some butter (just a little bit more than you are comfortable with) to the pot or frying pan and melt over med-high heat. Pour the drained Brussels sprouts into the pan and add the meat, if you are using it. Add a bit of beer – just enough so that you can see it through the sprouts. Now add a bit of sugar – not too much, I would say the amount of one hippy-sugar packet per large bowlful of sprouts. Next, add salt and pepper and stir – being careful not to mash the sprouts too much.

You can let this simmer on medium to low heat for a long time … but you really don’t have to. Just let the beer cook off a bit and allow the sugar to thoroughly dissolve and you should be good to go. Should you want, or need to let the mix simmer longer, watch and add more beer from time to time.

There you go … turn on some cyclocross and enjoy.